Holding the Horizon, Men navigating menopause
The basics

Menopause: What Is She Going Through?

If you are trying to understand what is happening to the woman you love, start here. Menopause is not a mood, a choice or a phase she can simply snap out of. It is a real biological transition, and it can affect almost every part of her body and mind.

What is menopause?

A natural stage when her hormone levels change and her periods eventually stop.

Menopause is a natural stage in a woman's life when her hormone levels, particularly oestrogen, change and her periods eventually stop.

The years leading up to menopause are called perimenopause. This is often when symptoms begin.

Why does it happen?

A woman is born with a supply of eggs in her ovaries. As she gets older, that supply gradually decreases.

Eventually, the ovaries produce much less oestrogen and progesterone, the hormones that help control her menstrual cycle and affect many other parts of the body.

The brain, body and hormones are closely connected, so when these hormone levels change, it can affect much more than her periods.

That is why she may suddenly experience changes in her temperature, sleep, mood, energy, memory, concentration and sex drive.

It is a completely natural part of ageing, but that does not mean it is always easy.

What can it feel like?

Imagine feeling like you are no longer completely in control of your own body.

Hormone changes can cause a woman to experience many different symptoms. Here are some of the most common ones partners notice first.

Hot and uncomfortable

Sudden hot flushes and sweating, sometimes several times a day or during the night.

Exhausted

Poor sleep and night sweats can leave her feeling completely drained.

Anxious or overwhelmed

She may feel worried, tense or stressed for no obvious reason.

Irritable

Small things can suddenly feel much harder to cope with. She may become frustrated or angry more easily than usual.

Emotional

She may cry more easily, feel low or find her emotions harder to control.

Forgetful and foggy

She may struggle to remember things, concentrate or find the right words. This can be frustrating and sometimes frightening.

Uncomfortable in her own body

Weight, skin, hair and body shape can change. She may not feel like herself or feel as confident as she once did.

Unable to sleep properly

She may struggle to fall asleep, wake repeatedly or wake up sweating and exhausted.

Less interested in sex

Hormonal changes, tiredness, anxiety and physical discomfort can reduce sexual desire. Sex can also become uncomfortable because of vaginal dryness.

Achy and uncomfortable

Some women experience headaches, muscle aches, joint pain or other physical symptoms.

The important thing to remember

She isn't necessarily choosing to behave differently. She may not understand why she feels different either.

What looks like irritability, tiredness, forgetfulness or lack of interest may actually be her body responding to significant hormonal changes.

Menopause doesn't change who she is. But it can change how she feels, physically, mentally and emotionally.

Understanding that can make a difficult time a lot easier for both of you.

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Want to understand specific symptoms?

The Symptom Translator breaks down rage, libido loss, brain fog, fatigue and more, with practical things you can do.

Go to Understand