Resources

Menopause facts, symptoms and trusted help

A plain-language starting point. What is happening, what it can look like, how to look after yourself while you support her, and where to find reliable medical information.

The facts, quickly

It usually starts in her 40s

Perimenopause most often begins between 45 and 55, but symptoms can start earlier. The average age of menopause itself in the UK is 51.

Menopause is one day

Medically, menopause is the point at which she has gone twelve months without a period. Everything before that is perimenopause; everything after is postmenopause.

Symptoms can last for years

For many women, symptoms last between four and eight years. For some, they continue longer. This is a marathon, not a week of hot flushes.

It is not just hot flushes

There are more than 30 recognised symptoms, affecting sleep, mood, memory, joints, skin, heart and sexual health.

Treatment exists

Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) is the most effective treatment for many symptoms. Non-hormonal options exist too. Her GP or a menopause specialist can talk her through the risks and benefits.

She isn't choosing this

What can look like irritability, distance or disinterest is often her body responding to significant hormonal change. She may not fully understand it either.

Common symptoms

Every woman's experience is different. She may have a few of these, or many, and they can change over time. Want the partner's-eye explanation? Read What is menopause and Symptoms explained.

Physical

Hot flushes and night sweats
Poor sleep
Aching joints and muscles
Headaches
Weight and body-shape changes
Vaginal dryness and discomfort
Irregular or heavier periods
Palpitations
Dry skin and thinning hair

Mental and emotional

Anxiety and low mood
Irritability and sudden anger
Feeling overwhelmed
Loss of confidence
Crying more easily
Feeling unlike herself

Thinking and memory

Brain fog
Trouble concentrating
Forgetting words or names
Difficulty making decisions
Losing track mid-task

Relationship and intimacy

Reduced sex drive
Painful or uncomfortable sex
Withdrawing from affection
Needing more space or more reassurance

Looking after yourself while you support her

Learn before you lean in

Read the basics so she doesn't have to explain everything. Understanding the biology stops you taking symptoms personally.

Protect your own sleep and routine

Night sweats and broken sleep can affect you both. It's okay to keep your own anchor points: exercise, friends, quiet time.

Ask, don't assume

"What would help right now?" beats guessing. Sometimes she wants solutions; often she just wants to be heard.

Take a breather in hard moments

If a conversation is escalating, it's fine to say you love her and you'll pick it up later. Stepping back is not abandoning her.

Keep small connections alive

Walks, a cup of tea, touch that isn't about sex. Small, low-pressure moments of closeness matter more when big ones feel hard.

Get support for yourself too

Secondary stress is real. Talk to a friend, use the community forums here, or speak to your own GP if it's affecting your mental health.

More on this in Looking after you, including boundaries, grief and where to get urgent help.

Trusted health services

For diagnosis and treatment, always start with her GP. These independent sources are reliable places to read up before or after an appointment.